Cheap Labor

Cheap Labor (born July 27, 1986 as Michael Tschirhart) is a professional wrestler and former radio deejay. He is a currently the Television Title holder in Global Championship Wrestling (GCW).

Early Life (pre-wrestling)

(From "Talk Is Cheap and So Is He," written by Dana Svorek with Wrestlezine.)

"His birth name means “God Will Increase,” but it will never characterize the man as well as his alias does. He is as pure and naive of a human being as you’ll ever meet; it’s like his cognitive development ended long before he was able to cross the street on his own. It’s not cutesy in a Clyde Fox sort of way. Instead, it’s dismaying for others to watch unfold. He’s an educated person, but he’s not smart. When you speak to him, you will spend a majority of time during the conversation wondering if he is an idiot savant or simply the village idiot. He goes by Cheap Labor. He is blessed with the gift of gab and little else.

Cheap Labor was born in raised in the lakeside town of St. Joseph, Michigan. He is an only child. His childhood was cluttered with one mother, two men he identified as “dad,” an abuse of alcohol by all the aforementioned folks, and unsettling lack of marriage or general continuity in his young life. Of all the embarrassing and unfortunate details of his life, Cheap Labor is least likely to speak on these subjects. He scored above average marks in school. He participated in no extracurricular activities and fit into no particular clique. He was always the awkward “funny guy” who was interesting for the brief moments you spoke with him, and then he was immediately forgettable. Throughout high school, Labor worked in myriad customer service jobs and rarely made above minimum wage. Despite this, Labor says he has always enjoyed working in customer service -- “people will genuinely respect and appreciate you if you provide them a good service.” You will find this to be a common theme: an exceedingly desperate search for respect, appreciation, and love. When you reduce these sentences down, there is one bottom line. Cheap Labor is an attention whore.

When you’ve got a verbose personality and are desperate for attention, you are more or less pre-destined for a career in radio. Naturally, this is where Cheap Labor ended up. He became a minor celebrity when he began working with a local rock radio station, which happened to be the most popular in his hometown. He went onboard as an intern and was given an on-air name. The rest is history.

As a radio intern, he was publically humiliated for swag. He would stand outside of restaurants and guess the individual weights of women who were clearly obese pounds and over-sensitive about it to begin with. He had to kiss carnival workers. One would argue that Labor’s first experience with wrestling actually was a result of working in radio. On the radio show (The Happy Hangover Morning Show), when interviewing mixed-martial arts fighters, Labor was put in a submission hold. Callers were asked to estimate how long before Labor tapped or passed out. The caller who guessed four seconds had won that day. Labor recalls the experience, “Being choked out wasn’t all together unpleasant.” Unsurprisingly, attention-seekers will almost always exhibit masochistic tendencies.

Thanks to his radio station aura of publicity, Cheap Labor quickly met a girl who, he admits, was way out of his league. They quickly began scampering all over their hometown together. Within one week of dating, they were expecting their first child. Labor tells this story with laughter-veiled sadness. Trying to be a responsible parent-to-be, Labor approached the radio station management and asked if he may start receiving more rewards in the form of money and less rewards in the form of free movie tickets. He was immediately rejected and promptly removed from his position. He lost his limelight.

Any attempt to receive further information about this period in Cheap Labor’s life was unsuccessful. “It was a murky time.” Odd, considering he was experiencing the miracle of child birth.

Fast forward a handful of months. Cheap Labor enters Just Wrestling, much the chagrin of his wife and infant daughter, but to much fanfare from others. He starts strong and fizzles out quickly. He jokingly draws an analogy between this statement and his sex life. He guffaws briefly, gives a resigned sigh, and then quickly resumes on topic. One can only assume Labor’s charisma and masochism led him to wrestling. The question of “why wrestling?” was never appropriately clarified. In Just Wrestling, Cheap Labor was twice teased with the championship gold -- falling victim to the mostly unstoppable Violence Jack and then later to Aaron Nothings (whom he had beaten in a non-title match not long before). Labor spat venom while speaking on this account. He would also go into long, muttered tangents about random happenings during his short tenure with Just Wrestling. He met a man named Dave Goodenough and enlisted his services as an agent. They worked well together albeit briefly. As Labor’s performance began to slip, Goodenough bailed and left Labor with a bill. While he would never outright admit it, this is probably the sole reason behind Cheap Labor’s constant quest for cash. By himself, he is not a greedy individual. In Just Wrestling, because of associations with wrong people and a start of bad habits and myriad questionable decisions, Labor’s estranged wife and infant daughter left him and, even to this date, the family has not reunited. Disgusted and disheartened, Cheap Labor headed to GCW for a new scene and a new start.

The general air of the interview was light despite the heavy matters discussed. The wrestler’s talkative nature is unquestionable. The conversation was peppered with awkward humor and copious amounts of sarcasm. One cannot help but love this person and worry about them at the same time. His boyish charm makes him magnetic to wicked and manipulative personalities. He is blinded by his own hopefulness and never recognizes a problem until it is too late. He has a short, irrational temper that is usually escalated into misdirected anger. It’s his lack of understanding on how the “real world” works that causes this to happen.

Cheap Labor is a man who is desperate, but not destined, for success. What makes him so loveable is his ability to relate to blue-collar professionals who struggle just to survive. Granted, most people in Labor’s position don’t live with such affability. Perhaps Labor learned his life motto when he was 14 years old and working his first job at McDonald’s: keep a smile on."

Just Wrestling

"What Next?" Tour

(April 28 – May 26, 2009) Cheap Labor made his wrestling with Just Wrestling mid-way through the federation’s “What Next?” tour. While his initial introduction garnered only mild interest, Labor quickly became a fan favorite after defeating federation mainstay Erik Magnum. By the end of Labor’s inaugural tour, he had won three consecutive matches and thus earned a shot at the Just Wrestling Championship.

What Next? Tour match history:
Won against Brock Alyas and Rick Malloy
Won against Erik Magnum
Won against Lance Spencer

Tour record: 3 – 0

Long Hot Summer Tour

July 12 – August 26, 2009 Expectations were much greater for Labor's second tour with Just Wrestling. During this tour Cheap Labor would once again defeat Just Wrestling legend Erik Magnum, and would later go on to beat former Just Wrestling Champion Aaron Nothings. Labor would also experience his first defeat, failing to dethrone the unbeaten Violence Jack in a title defense, and also falling to Just Wrestling newcomers Jacob McKail and Terrence Kingsley. Midway through the tour it would be revealed that Labor’s wife had begun a petition for divorce.

Long Hot Summer Tour match history:
Won against Erik Magnum and Wrett Warren
Lost to Violence Jack in a Just Wrestling Championship match
Lost to Jacob McKail
Drew with Wrett and the Rowdy Boyz against Beau Archer, Brian Arson, and the Fudley Boyz
Won against Aaron Nothings
Lost to Terrence Kingsley

Tour record: 2 – 3 – 1

The Homecoming Tour (October 24 – November 28, 2009)

This would be Cheap Labor’s last tour with Just Wrestling. Labor was granted a Just Wrestling title shot against newly crowned champion Aaron Nothings due to a rulebook stipulation. The stipulation states: anyone whom had previously defeated the current title holder automatically earns a match against them. Labor would once again falter and fail to earn Just Wrestling gold.

The Homecoming Tour match history:
Lost to Aaron Nothings in a Just Wrestling Championship match

Tour record: 0 – 1

Global Championship Wrestling

To be added.