High Flyer

High Flyer (Born Jack Harmen, December 17th, 1975) is a wrestler with a wealth of experience, most notably for the IGN affiliated Internet Wrestling Organization and the Disney run fans Wrestling Organization. He is currently employed by the North East Regional no brand Wrestling, airing across the country on HBO. He is also apart of PRIME, having won the PRIME World Tag Team Titles with Tony Davis and Mary-Lynn Mayweather at the most recent Ultra Violence.

the Prologue(1975 - 1993)

Jack Harmen was born to Sarah and Joseph Harmen on December 17th, late in the evening as it snowed in a quaint little town of Bethlehem, PA. Joseph Harmen was a professional wrestler himself, wrestling at the time for the National Wrestling Alliance, or NWA for short. Harmen's one claim to wrestling fame was holding the NWA Heavyweight Championship for a single day, even though the NWA does not recognize his reign.

Joseph Harmen's career was never fully utilized due to most bookers perfering larger than life athletes. Being 5'11" and 220 pounds soaking wet, Joe spent most of his career as a Jobber to the Stars, before being killed during a match that his family was in attendance for. The wrestling world mourned, but not like Jack Harmen would.

Joseph Harmen was always the glue that held the family together, kept Sarah's problems under control. But once Joseph was out of her life, Sarah's dormant psychological problems reared their head, and she successfully committed suicide in the bathroom of a hotel room.

Due to his parents dying at such a young age, he considers himself a Cylon in jest.

He has an older brother named Jake, and a younger sister named Tammy Cradle. Shortly after High School graduation, Jack followed in his father's footsteps, traveling to Mexico.

Career

Mexico/AAA(1993-1997)

After being trained lightly by the PWA and Jeremy Odessa, Jack Harmen went to Mexico, doned a mask, and called himself "Reckless." However, he lacked character, which made him unmarketable to American or Spanish Speaking audiences. Because he also lacked an understanding of spanish OR the abililty to speak it, Jack spent most of his time in Mexico with himself.

After wrestling for two years, Jack Harmen learned enough spanish to come out of his shell, and he did so at the perfect time. In 1995, AAA ran a "Best High Flyer" tournament, which Harmen was able to win. Dropping his moniker of reckless, he proclaimed himself the greatest cruiserweight this world had ever seen. That the style of high flying wrestling wasn't created before HE himself existed. Turning rudo, he gained quite a lot of promotion until 1997, when he lost a Mask vs. Career Match, and left Mexico in shame, and returned to America.

The Independants(1998)

Extreme Wrestling Association

High Flyer made his stateside debut in January of 1998, wrestling in a Royal Rumble match. He formed an alliance with real wrestler's Shawn Michaels and the Outsiders to form a new form of Degeneration X, which lasted for about a year until their dissolving. After that, Flyer floated around as his own comodity.

Professional Fantasy Wrestling

High Flyer debuted and quickly won the Television title from Cheez and won the Award for best Champion with said title. The federation hit a hiccup shortly after, but when it returned, Flyer teamed with friend Zealot and won the tag team championship. He was then thrust into the Main Event scene by winning a battle royal and wound up with the World Championship four times in the course of three months. Shortly after that, he was worked into a feud with long time friend Post before the promotion shut it's doors for good in 2000.

Grand Wrestling Alliance

High Flyer had memorable feuds with Tigro, Jonny Nightmare, & Muntjack during this time. Throughout the entire promotion, he both feuded and teamed with all three of these men. Jack was also apart of the E-A stable, the Extreme Alliance, and later formed a tag team with Tigro labeled as the Esoterics. Despite all of this, Flyer didn't hold tag team gold until winning the titles with Muntjack. He is a former five time Cruiserweight Champion of the promotion, and it was one of his earliest US Stateside homes.

Internet Wrestling Organization(1999-2003)

Early Days

High Flyer was signed early on for his in ring abilities and natural talent. A long term investment, if it were. As it was, Flyer toiled in the undercard in unremarkable feuds with Jax Stone & Mike Haven.

The Cult

With the formation of the Cult(Jax Stone, Al Coholic, Ken War & Justin Shack), Flyer wasn't just able to aquire more screen time for himself, he was also able to build long lasting relationships with all parties involved. Al Coholic and him played friend and enemy for the next two years. Shack won up taking two championships off of the Lunatic's shoulders, while Flyer did the same to War.

Beach Party 1999 was the only impressive showing from the Cult in the entire history of the IWO. During this show, High Flyer & Jax Stone defended the IWO I.C. Tag Titles against the NEW Era of Our Kind. Flyer also defended his championship against all members of his Cult stable, and successfully came out of both defenses. Of course, at the end of Beach Party, Stone turned on the group(and specifically Flyer), and the stable could not hold itself together.

Flyer went into a state of denial over losing his first friends/allies/soldiers. He began to believe that he WAS the Cult, and as long as he remained, the Cult would be alive and well. Delusional and paranoid, Flyer spun out of control, losing both championships to the Beverly Hills Bruisers & Black Assassin, before taking time off the air to reset his character.

Snow Selling

He returned a few weeks later in a series of "Falling Star" interviews, where random fans would point towards him and call him a failure. It caused a backlash of egoistical proportions, as Flyer had always been a cocky showboat before this. Now, he wallowed in his self pity. Even still, he gained the IWO United States Championship off of Ian Kain.

While United States Champion, Flyer routinely searched out what his true "calling" was. Having felt he fell into Professional Wrestling, Flyer toured around for his identity, before finding it at a local business career fair. A weather machine that gave him power over the elements, enough to deliver snow to anywhere in the country.

Flyer, rejuvanted, hit the ground running. He attempted to sell his snow to anyone who would listen, allies, enemies, friends, bookers, hell, even random passerbys were subjected to Flyer's sales pitch. During this time, he worked a program with the Mysterious One while injured. His match with the Mysterious One cemented him as a force in the organization.

After everything, Flyer's business hit a standstill around the time of May Mayhem. Investigated by the federal government, Flyer was arrected for illegally opening a trade company or business without filling out the right paper work or claiming it on his taxes. However, during all this time, Flyer never sold a single inch of snow, and the court were forced to claim that Flyer's business was not in fact a business, and that he would be free to go.

At the end of the 2000 May Mayhem Match, Flyer appeared in the middle of the ring, coming out of a time machine(that he bought from Rob Kestler by trading him some snow for it) with the tag team championship(A belt he currently did not hold, a tag team he currently was not apart of), and destroyed everyone with it in a truly "WTF"esq moment.

Team VIAGRA

The tag team that Flyer would be in in the near future would be Team V.I.A.G.R.A. with fellow nads salesman Tony Davis, and they would shortly win the tag team titles, holding onto them as long as the record breakers, Hostile Youth. VIAGRA played babyfaces, dominating all challengers for months, including a short five minute World title reign for the Lunatic. Shortly afterwards, Flyer became bitter over what had occured and they looked to create a bit of chaos and panik and gain their rightful glory at the top of the card, believing themselves to be the top draws of the show.

They turned heel and joined with Evan Levine and his Central Powers to accomplish this, but nothing is ever as it seems. Tony would lose a World Heavyweight Championship match and be forced to retire due to the match's stipulation. Evan Levine wound up screwing Flyer out of the World Championship, and weeks afterwards, attempted to bring the FWF over to invade the promotion. At Fear the Darkness, Flyer attempted to stop Evan with inside knowledge and a well timed sledgehammer to the skull, but things didn't work out as planned, and Evan was victorious over Psycho Jay due to Flyer's actions.

Flyer would turn face from this point, teaming with legend Phelen Kell until Kell's disappearance from wrestling in January of 2001. Flyer wouldn't see much action early in 2001, suffering from a torn ACL that would have to be repaired(the same injury that cost him the United States title in a cage versus Shack, and the same injury that Flyer fought through for his biggest victory to date against the Mysterious One. Tony Davis reinjured the apendage by striking Flyer with a car in early January, putting both men on the shelf for about three months.

Davis returned as the evil TRENCH COAT MAN, or Trenchie for short, being basically mean to puppies and small children. He ran amok for a while until Flyer came to stop him, and revealed Trenchie to be none other than Tony Davis in an impromptu match at April's WarCry event. Davis won the match, but absolutely had to destroy Flyer in order to do so.

Two months later at Beach Party, their conflict would come to a close, and VIAGRA would reform, wrestling Shawn Arrows & Ben Archer for a bit before putting over Doozer and leaving the federation for jOlt.

Flyer would remain behind to help try to pick up the shattered pieces of what had since become the IWO.

Legend

Jack was set to run a program against AWS Man(Also Known as Bill) when Joey Malone & Kent Anthason both left the promotion shortly after the fallout of 2001. But the promotion ran into technical issues and things were left unresolved due to a phantom Hostile Takeover that had never taken place. Word is, none of the executives could figure out who the title should go to. The promotion lost some funding, and things dramatically changed.

When the place returned, Flyer was the longest running roster member, and had recently been inducted into the Hall of Fame. With new champ Simon Seaman crowned, he needed an adversary, and Flyer was that man. They feuded for a bit before Flyer put Seaman over in a retirement match.

But like all retirement matches, it didn't stick, and Flyer was back by Ice Age. He made fun of this on a few occassions and held reseverations about returning to an IWO ring so soon, but the roster had been depleted and star power was needed. Flyer went into a feud with Sam Potright over the new Cruiserweight Championship(A retooled TV title), and then dropped the belt to Donnie Daze before reforming Team VIAGRA.

VIAGRA would go on to win the Tag Team Titles, and they would be the last team to ever hold them.

In 2003, Flyer returned as the IWO did, in an independant fashion. He wrestled every show, usually putting over talent in a means to facilitate new stars. Dolby Jenkins and he were set to have a huge blow off at Ice Age, but in September, the promotion, met with the death of fan favorite Syphon Fission and growing financial constraints, closed its doors for good.

jOlt, A!, WWR, & other(2001-2003)

jOlt

High Flyer entered jOlt with tag team partner Tony Davis as part of Team V.I.A.G.R.A.. They went on to partner with Chris Titan and Chris Register and call themselves Fueled by V.I.A.G.R.A.. They would each win the tag team titles, before the four man tag team/stable split up, and Viagra won the defending contest.

Most of this tour was under a prankster/jovial motif. Particularly interactions with former owner of the promotion.

A! Wrestling

High Flyer joined Action! Wrestling in December of 2002. He wrestled Joey Malone in the main event for the Action! World Heavyweight Championship.

Shortly after that, he begun a friendship with A! Carnage champ Simon Seaman. Or seemed to, until Tony Davis showed up, and the two attacked him. This lead to a heel turn, which was effective enough to screw up Flyer's run in his other promotion, the aWc.

Flyer and Davis routinely performed as Team V.I.A.G.R.A. during this time. Their tour of duty lasted approximately four months.

WWR

Stint 1 2000 High Flyer joined the promotion during a large crossover event involving IWO superstars. He feuded with Al Coholic, but after a short controvery, left to return back to the Internet Wrestling Organization.

Stint 2 2002 Set in the future five years, the Lunatic would be a crippled veteran trying to make his return to the business inside the halls of the World Wrestling Revolution. What that meant was a return to the wacky antics of his prime.

So much so, the WWR gave him his own half hour television show, broadcasted as part of the programming. The show followed Flyer, his wife Kate Young-Harmen, his son Allocca Harmen, & his next door neighbor and clown friend Harlequinn.

The first episode involved Flyer and Harlequinn discovering a conspiracy for wide spread mind control perpetrated by the "I Can't Believe it's Not Butter" company. The second episode involved a snow storm that buried a local convience store that Flyer was shopping inside of an avalanche of snow. Plans were made and production began on EP 3, "The Day the Dance Died" involving "Southtown" Josh Klein & "Fly Guy" Derek Edwards losing their local night club, but WWR production on a whole ceased to function and the program was forced to be cancelled.

During this run, Flyer was a Main Event superstar, fighting Spike Saunders & Ray Chavez for the WWR Championship in the main event of WWR's first and only Pay Per View, WWR Wresolution

Epic Wrestling

High Flyer joined this for a short period of time, hoping to find his brother, who had once wrestled inside it's walls years ago. He got involved in a short altercation with Kent Anthason, former IWO World Heavyweight Champion, but things somewhat stalled.

aWc

High Flyer was billed as a babyface World Heavyweight Champion. The only problem?

Everyone hated him.

Not because of who he was, but just what he did, in a much larger promotion, Action! Wrestling. After attacking Simon Seaman, Flyer debuted to a shocking course of boos.

Over the next month, Flyer attempted to stay calm, sell the idea, keep the story moving. But things flowndered pretty quickly. Under the pressure of making a company work that had a backwards main event, he occassionally broke out of his kayfabe'd "nice guy" and revealed the frustration that the whole situation was causing him.

It was the start of his Lunatic phase.

At the first pay per view, Flyer defeated L.i.T. via nefarious deeds, and went full blown heel. He did everything to keep his place at the top, cheating, running away, defending the belt with honor, until it all crashed down at the next show, Ascension, where L.i.T. would win the championship.

After that, Flyer went nuts, rampaging for his rematch through roster man after main event. When he was suspended, he destroyed a production truck. And when he still wasn't listened to, he took aWc off the air. He never returned after that, but the promotion would a few months later, severly crippled from Flyer's stunt.

FWF

High Flyer had a short lived tandem with Evan Levine. But long enough to win the FWF World Tag Team titles with.

fans Wrestling Organization(2003-2006)

High Flyer was signed onto a contract in April of 2003, a few weeks before Cyberslam. Due to a rib injury in aWc, Flyer wasn't able to enter the promotion until after the biggest pay per view of the year, debuting in his original hometown of Philadelphia.

Cruiserweight Division

High Flyer joined and immediately started a feud with former Cruiserweight Champion Great Dragon. After taking the loss in the pay per view showdown, Flyer toiled in the CW division until joining the Rogues in October.

That's when he finally defeated then champion Scotty J. Bowman for the title.

the Rogues

As a member of the Rogues, Flyer held onto his cruiserweight championship as if it were his meal ticket. Flyer played a "Second in Command" pseudo mentorship role with eron, until his eventual retirement in a match against Spyder.

Thrusted into the leadership position, Flyer attempted to make bold challenges to gain attention, and it cost him the fWo Cruiserweight Championship in a match against Scott Slugger. Two weeks later he regained the championship, and then entered into a deal with Lance Knight to take out Kellen Kinkade. But it was all an unsuccessful scheme by Flyer to take Kinkade and Knight to beat each other up and take the United States title.

During his planning, he lost his championship to Kagos and everything fell apart. Flyer turned on Knight and Flyer had to fight a war on two fronts, while facing the new US Champ, Jon Crisp.

Flyer tumbled out of the title chase and wound up inside the tag division, questioning his loyalties when former tag partner Tony Davis & best friend showed up. He had to choose between the Legion of Dairy & Davis, and chose Davis, only for the LoD 2k3 to show up as allies of Tony. Everything would fall apart when Flyer injured Davis at the February show, and showed remorse for his actions...

Return to Roots

The Turn

He blinded Poison Ivy, he crippled Deacon, and he forced "Superstar" Vince Jacobs into fWo retirement.

And then admitted to it all as a plan to gain the fWo championship.

Too bad the plan backfired, crippled the federation's already fragile defenses, and lead to the Countdown riot that shut the federations doors down from Network Television.

The Odesa Dungeon

In 2006, after the fWo's Countdown event, Flyer returned to his school to give some of his protegues a bit more training. Derek Edwards & Josh Klein returned as pupils, as new ACW star Lucious attended. Others are thought to have, but no other names have been released.

Shortly after this was completed, Flyer returned to the ring at ACW's Courage 100, wrestling and losing to Alias.

GTT6

High Flyer joined the Primetime Central GTT 6 tournament, and lost in the third round in a contest with finalist Sammy Brown, having defeated Jim Axtell(via forfeit) and Steve Watson - CPA in prior rounds. Watson even lasted an extra round past Flyer, having gained a replayed entry due to the closeness of their first round matchup.

no brand Wrestling/TEAM(2006-)

High Flyer debuted in December of 2006 in No Brand Wrestling, taking over a vacated spot in the second round of the North Atlantic championship tournament. Flyer used this oppertuinity to take him all the way to the finals, losing in a Ladder match to Austin Advent at 25 to Life.

Flyer and Davis joined forces as Team VIAGRA, and continued to appear on sporatic nbW shows, highlighting themselves up until Flyer's Shivaree win. Since then, they defeated SJH and Cappy at the biggest show of the year, and now await reassignment once nbW figures out their television deal.

During this off time, Flyer has begun working for TEAM once more, wrestling at their Super Show IV and now in their Tournament of Champions.

Rumors persist of a possible job commentating for a federation, but Flyer doesn't seem to be hanging up the boots any time soon, and so they remain rumors.

PRIME

High Flyer joined the PTC tournament Jewel in the Crown in 2007, drawing the eventual winner Chandler Tsonda in the first round. A few weeks later, Team V.I.A.G.R.A. debuts at the King of Kings event. On their 18th appearance, Team VIAGRA captured the tag team titles over Risk & Reward & Delta_Upsilon_Iota.

Team VIAGRA are set to defend their Tag Team Titles against The Princes of New England at Colossus V.

Wrestling Statistics

Finishing moves

Flying Moon Shot (Top Rope Moonsault) - 1993 to 2001
Peaceful Slumber (Elevated Boston Crab) - 2001 - 2004
Locomotive (Running Yakuza Kick) - 2004 - On.

Signature moves

Cold Snow (Neck Grasped Elevated DDT)
Hypothermia (Double Underhook Brainbuster)
Sliced Bread #3
5½ Star Frogsplash
Traveling Through Time (Top Rope Cartwheel Elbow)
Springboard Lou Thesz Press

Managers

Past Gimmicks
'"Just Intoxicating"'
Snow Seller
'Time Traveler'
the Neighborhood Lunatic

Awards

Won

Rings of Fire Tournament Winner2001
1999 PFW Slammy - Best Television Champion
1. 143 out of 200 in 1999's RSPWF 200
IWO Award for Most Underrated2000
IWO Award for Most Loyal Superstar2001
Winner of the 2001 May Mayhem Match
Winner of the 2005 fWo Meltdown Match

4 in 2004 EWN "The Mark" Tournament
8 in EWN SIDE of "The Mark" Tournament2005

Nominated

2004 EWN Mark Character of the Year
2005 EWN Mark Character of the Year
2005 EWN Face of the Year
2005 EWN Heel of the Year
4th Place in 2005 JA's "Wrestler of the Year"

Allies

Rivals

The Compilation Tape(Greatest Matches)

Fear the Darkness '99 : Ladder Match : High Flyer vs. John McRae vs. HaVoK
Monday night Meltdown '00 : High Flyer vs. Cardboard Cutout of Bob Saget
MNM '00 : High Flyer vs. ?¿?
MNM June 00 : High Flyer vs. Gunnar Smith [IWO World Heavyweight Title]
MNM Dec 00 : Team Viagra & Rob Kestler vs. Phelen Kell, Psycho Jay & Al Coholic
Warcry '01 : High Flyer vs. Trenchcoat Man
Mayhem 01 : Highlights
Beach Party 01 : High Flyer vs. Tony Davis [Anything Goes]
WWR's Wresolution 01 : High Flyer vs. Spike Saunders vs. Ray Chavez [WWR World Heavyweight Title]
IWO Gold & Glory : High Flyer vs. HardCase vs. Jack Breaker vs. Keith Scott Zimmerman[World Heavyweight]
fWo Ruahh~! 11/15/04 : HEAT(Craig Miles, Rana Venenosa, Lance Knight) vs. the Rogues(High Flyer & Legion of Dairy)
Countdown 2 : High Flyer vs. Craig Miles
Ruahh~! : High Flyer vs. the Flying Frenchie [fWo World Heavyweight Title]
Cyberslam VIII : High Flyer vs. Craig Miles
Meltdown 05 : Meltdown Match High Lights
Meltdown 05 : High Flyer vs. Rana Venenosa
nbW 25 to Life : High Flyer vs. Austin Advent vs. Cage
nbW Shivaree : Match Highlights

Bolded entries were included in a compilation set the IWO released in February of 2007. It involved a line of "Classic Superstars," detailing High Flyer, Tony Davis, Syphon Fission, Joey Malone, Kent Anthason, & Sam Potright. These bolded entries were included in disc 2 of the IWO set. Others are included on the unofficial compilation tape by RF Video.

Quotes

"Where's Timothy Dalton? I WAS PROMISED TIMOTHY DALTON IN A BEAR TRAP!"
"(falsly)Get it right or pay the price!"
"Don't eat the cheesedoodles I left in the couch. Couches taste bad."
"I remember burying this guy, some guy. I dunno what his name was. We called him three bullet holes in the back McJester, but I really doubt that was his name."
"Screw that, I'm no longer a master debator... That's actually not that funny... Because of the de. There's a misplaced "de" in my catch phrase Susan!
"Post and I will post you about it to fix it later in Post Production, and then post the post of post production to Post and I!"
"You think my subconsious would be nicer." - High Flyer - "I'm not your subconsious. I'm your sound guy!"
"The trees are speaking to me. They're saying... tree's don't talk."
"And that's where I come in. Slayer of the dark evil, the zombies living amongst us. I'm High Flyer, I'm ZOMBIE MEGADEATH!"
"Take that Shy Guy! That’s what you get for being so shy! Maybe you should open up more and there’d be a Misses Shy Guy!
"(To Hilary Duff)Excuse me? Are you 18? No? AWAY WITH YOU MIDGET GIRL!"
"You can let your good friend High Flyer in so I can hit that mangy fire breathing threat to humanity with a sledgehammer, can't you?"
"Heeeeeeerrrreeeeee's Flyer!"
"Do you smoke? Then why the heck do you own a Zippo? Isn't that… well… kinda… pointless? Oh, yeah, lighting stuff on fire. That's cool. I was into that for a while. When I was ten."
“But not me, right? I mean, I’m very seldom naughty. Cuz, you know, Willow? She said that line. Man, I love that show. You should watch. We’ll have a marathon!”
"I don’t know what sort of alternate universe you’re living in nowadays, but it doesn’t amuse."
“(After a sneak attack from someone else)Now why the heck did you do that?!? We were communicating!”
"If that pasty Special Olympic Gymnastic finalist(Wippit Guud) or the Furby win(Mittens T. Cat), it’s on your head Koji."
"Man, there needs to be more wrestling chicks in this business. Otherwise we’re just going to start passing them around like Mr. Potato Head.”
"(During match) LOOK OVER THERE! There's a small child playing with a razor blade!(Dynamo doesn't look) Oh crap."
"I’m willing to put this coveted Cruiserweight title against ANYONE in the back. I don’t care if you’re two hundred pounds, four hundred pounds, Oprah Winfrey, or hell, four or five midgets duct taped together.”
“I wanted to face Great Dragon, until I remembered he kicked my ass the last two times we faced, so I think I’ve had enough of him. Oh yeah, and he’s evil now… GOOD FOR YOU!”
“Let me answer that question with…. A conchairto.”
"Put A + B + C together and you get six!"
"You two scare me... don't ever reproduce."
"(Trying to get out of a match)Just take a look at the note from the doctor." - High Flyer "This is from a dentist!" - Silver Fox "He has his PhD..." - High Flyer
“NOG, if you interrupt me one more time this sledgehammer will be down your throat Kenny Rock style. You hear me?”
“Listen. Let’s not play the blame game. And for the LOVE OF GOD, if you say let’s play the name game, I will make you forget your own.”
“No, Great Dragon, I want you to come out here, right here, right now, in… What town are we in? Wait, I don’t actually care."
"You know, you're a lot less aggravating these days. It's no longer a `I want to tear off your head and feed you to crows' kind of vengeance. More of a 'Slipping cyanide in your pez dispensor' kinda way."
"Now, if you just hit rewind on your remote control on life, you'd realize I already did."
"I have won titles, sure. Shiny. I've had victories, I've fought wars, I've blahbity blah blah blah... The point is that I am crap and you should underestimate me. I'm horrible. I've got this eye twitch, it totally ruins my depth persception..."
“I’d just like to tell everyone, that I am no mop.”
(About Duct Tape)”Every time I touch that stuff I just hear ducks quacking and it creeps the hell into me."
"This one time, egg NOG bought a carton of milk and kept pointing to it as if it was his cousin."
“You know, the only thing I dislike more than a traitor is a traitor who betrays me.”
"Don't hang up, or I will hunt you down and maim you with your own urine."
"Well, I just wanted to come up to tell you thanks for this opportunity and I'm gonna serve it to you like Andre Agassi back when people actually cared about Andre Agassi... Good luck. KA-POW~!”
(to Token Weed) "Oh! And! Sloppy seconds!"
"Struck a nerve, didn't I. Played a huge game of operation and touched every freaking side, didn't I? Buzzer, Red lights flashing, Ambulance chases, COPS on at 5 o'clock in the afternoon every day on FX for God knows what reason, and then there's that crying statue, what's up with that. I mean, is it a sad person trapped inside? I mean, do I have to cheer it up, or what?"
"Hey, you grill me with these questions and I get to advertise my novel. Should I ever write a novel. This is just an advertisement for a future possible novel published under the name Jack Harmen. I'm probably never going to write a novel."
"Oh COME ON!"(G.O.B.esq)
"Would you stop narrating my own life? I know my own life. I'm living it."
"Oh, what a lovely tea party."
"Fetch me my cane man servant!"
"Fire me. Right here. Right now. You want me gone, do it already. I’m bored with you. You aren’t a great man. You aren’t even a savvy business man. You have no skills at politics and your outerwear resembles that of a Yugoslavian."
"Let me find a place, oh yes! I wanted to compliment you by telling you that you are OBVIOUSLY at the very top of being the absolutely worst at your trade."
"Look, it was hypothetical. In a 'I had this idea but haven't researched it' kinda way."

High Flyer(to Rana Vanenosa about plotting to poison him)

All of that time travelling, I forget what's legal and not legal in certain decades.
Hey! I don't tell you how to defend my crimes, don't tell me which crimes to commit.
This is a beautiful picture of a bum. I’d hang this up in my foray if I had an unhealthy fascination with the homeless.
Not to mention that I swore that if I saw 90 minutes of reality television over the course of my life time I would blow my fucking brains out. Let's just say I'm one episode of Survivor away from not surviving.
You think I could fuck Ellen Page?

Championships

fWo World Heavyweight Championship
fWo World Tag Team Championship (w/Rana Venenossa)
fWo Internet Championship
fWo United States Championship
fWo Cruiserweight Championship(*3)
aWc World Heavyweight Championship
jOlt World Tag Team Titles(*3 w/Tony Davis)
IWO World Heavyweight Championship
IWO World Tag Team Championship(*2 w/ Tony Davis)
IWO Grand Slam Champion
FWF World Tag Team Champion(w/ Evan Levine)

Links